I always find instructions and some warnings on items to be humorous. Some more I have come across;
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (no shit)
On a curling iron: For external use only!
On a hair dryer: Do not use in shower
On a can of air freshener: For use by trained personnel only.(You need special training for this?)
On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (umm ok)
On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets: Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems.
On a package of peanuts: Warning: May contain nuts. (get out of here)
On A toilet plunger: Caution: Do not use near power lines. (I have to know thw back story on this one)
On a floodlight: This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark.
On a mattress: Warning: Do not attempt to swallow.
On a pack of matches: Caution: Contents may catch fire.
On a RCA Television Remote Control: Not Dishwasher Safe
On Home Depot Treated Lumber: Do not consume.
On a 35 mm camera: This camera will only work when film is inside.
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (as opposed to what?)
On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow: Not intended for highway use.
On a package of deodorant: Do not use intimately. (close call on if I really want to know).
And the list could go on and on.